How do I get over my male ego?

I know the male ego can be a bad thing and a hindrance to a relationship. My wife put me down quite a bit, told me I'm not good (future) father material, flirted openly with other men, exposed her body to two young men one of whom had a laugh and a good time of it at my expense (he was late teens or early 20s, I'm not sure) and basically said I don't earn enough money. She was going through a rough spot, was threatened with a layoff and had lost a close relative. So I tried to cut her some slack and talk it all through. But my ego is shot, I feel resentment, even of the fact that I had to do all the work to get us back on track. She is happy again and sings my praises often, though she does break down now and then and lash out at me, not with anger but with condescension and a seeming lack of respect. How does a man get past his ego? Other than marital counseling, what will help me move on?